OK, time for some levity. The missus and I were parked on the couch last night and being that we are still pre-'70s in our TV technology (you'd think not, but no, for some reason, neither of us has seen fit these past 4 years to do anything other than adjust antennae. Of course that is rapidly going to end with the digital transition, but even I think it's kind of funny).
So, we have PBS on and are watching an episode of this series, about the British royal family and what they have to do to *gasp* earn a living (or at least look like it). Now on this one occasion, the president of some former African colony was coming to visit and had his wife and other entourage members with him. Well as it turns out one of them couldn't, for whatever reason, climb the stairs to one of the rooms they were scheduled to appear in and so of course, the palace has an elevator but it happened to be out of service for some reason at this critical moment.
Well the documentary cameras caught HM Queen Elizabeth II at the top of the stairs on the rather spacious overhanging landing on the second floor, at one point bent over the railing looking down to see what was going on on the first floor, probably with an eye to trying to resolve the embarassing situation that seemed to have arisen. Just as I saw this I had the perfect scenario go through my mind.
I can tell you this, if I had seen the following happen, it would have been just fine if I keeled over right then and there. My life would have been fulfilled as far as I'm concerned.
What did I want to see? I wanted to see (and hear) the queen curse like an immigrant former-Russian trade-unionist and bellow out something along the lines of "Jesus H. Christ, where the f*ck is the goddamn wiring panel for this mother-f*cker anyway?!? The goddamn fuses are all f*cked up and Lenny is a f*cking idiot and has no f*cking idea what the f*ck he's doing and we have to get this goddamned elevator working again!! I can't believe it, I work with a bunch of f*cking idiots, you guys are a bunch of useless f*cking a**holes!!"
This scene went through my mind in an instant and I began laughing. I almost fell off the couch.
I have to say I had a hard time explaining this to the missus. She saw the humor of course but it's one of those things that if you don't actually see it unfold in your head yourself, you probably won't be nearly as amused. But I do wonder what the queen would say if she were to stumble across this blog entry. Probably something like, "We are not amused!" :)
So, we have PBS on and are watching an episode of this series, about the British royal family and what they have to do to *gasp* earn a living (or at least look like it). Now on this one occasion, the president of some former African colony was coming to visit and had his wife and other entourage members with him. Well as it turns out one of them couldn't, for whatever reason, climb the stairs to one of the rooms they were scheduled to appear in and so of course, the palace has an elevator but it happened to be out of service for some reason at this critical moment.
Well the documentary cameras caught HM Queen Elizabeth II at the top of the stairs on the rather spacious overhanging landing on the second floor, at one point bent over the railing looking down to see what was going on on the first floor, probably with an eye to trying to resolve the embarassing situation that seemed to have arisen. Just as I saw this I had the perfect scenario go through my mind.
I can tell you this, if I had seen the following happen, it would have been just fine if I keeled over right then and there. My life would have been fulfilled as far as I'm concerned.
What did I want to see? I wanted to see (and hear) the queen curse like an immigrant former-Russian trade-unionist and bellow out something along the lines of "Jesus H. Christ, where the f*ck is the goddamn wiring panel for this mother-f*cker anyway?!? The goddamn fuses are all f*cked up and Lenny is a f*cking idiot and has no f*cking idea what the f*ck he's doing and we have to get this goddamned elevator working again!! I can't believe it, I work with a bunch of f*cking idiots, you guys are a bunch of useless f*cking a**holes!!"
This scene went through my mind in an instant and I began laughing. I almost fell off the couch.
I have to say I had a hard time explaining this to the missus. She saw the humor of course but it's one of those things that if you don't actually see it unfold in your head yourself, you probably won't be nearly as amused. But I do wonder what the queen would say if she were to stumble across this blog entry. Probably something like, "We are not amused!" :)
posted by Matt Campbell at 5:43 PM
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